How to Stop a Stalker
The Top 10 Safety Tips from stalking victims about how to stop a stalker:
1. Try to never let him know he’s having any effect on you – don't give him a “reward.”
2. Shield your home as described in Home Security - Overview.
3. Shred your identifying snail-mail before throwing it into the trash.
4. If you’re being harassed by telephone, save the evidence, and get a second phone that you use only with your most trusted friends.
5. Check Caller ID before answering your phone.
6. Use your phone's camera to document every encounter.
7. Have your friends, neighbors, and coworkers help shield you.
8. Change your schedule to make it harder to follow you.
9. Circle your route a few times to see if he’s following you or lurking about your house (if so, go straight to the police station).
10. Plan an escape route in case the stalker enters your home, or
which streets to use if someone follows you (whether walking or
driving). Have it clear in your mind before you need to escape so that
high anxiety won’t cloud your judgment.
One trick is to have a friend drop you off at a shopping mall entrance. You scoot in one door and out the other side of the mall where a second friend is waiting to whisk you away. That'll give you a brief time-out anyway.
WHAT NOT TO DO
Stalking experts Gavin de Becker, Linden Gross, Dr. Doreen Orion, and Captain Robert Snow (their books are listed below) significantly influenced this stop a stalker page and recommend that you must:
• Absolutely avoid any talking with a stalker. He needs psychotherapy, but not from his victim. You’ll only make things worse by trying to reason with an unreasonable mind. Telling him again and again that you don’t want to talk to him means that you’re talking to him again and again. Even your shrieking at him to leave you alone gives him the perverse satisfaction of connecting with you.
• Don't send a friend to threaten him. That may escalate the danger.
• Don't think you're deflating his threats by ignoring them.
• Proceed with extreme caution. Though you’re greatly aggravated, do not act rashly by trying for revenge – that might fire him up even more, and besides, you might end up in jail.
OUTLASTING THE STALKER
You never know when it's finally over.Stalking may fade away, continue for years, or escalate. Sometimes an uneventful month gives you hope that it’s over, and then it starts again. The police have very little time to devote to protecting you. You’re essentially left on your own to deal with this mysterious, slow-motion crime. You must devise strategies to stop a stalker – and to provide police with evidence they can use in court.
Unfortunately, all strategies to stop a stalker require you to make sacrifices – from rearranging your daily routine to spending your money. Thus, you must be clever, patient, and ultimately outsmart the stalker.
You can choose Security Products - Simple Electronic to suit your unique needs and budget to stop a stalker - such as surveillance cameras on a digital recorder to reveal a prowler’s identity, or a hidden motion-sensitive full-color night-vision camera to secretly record the stalker in the act. And add outdoor security lighting all around your home. These devices might supplement an actual home alarm system – either Security Products Alarms or DIY Home Security Systems. As a bonus, these devices also help protect you from all types of criminals as well.
The key to stop a stalker is in outlasting him. If his efforts to connect with you or hear your voice never pay off, he’ll eventually tire of you and target a new woman to haunt. In fact, that’s the most common way for women to finally stop a stalker. Otherwise, ultimately, some women may have to change jobs and move far away while leaving no trail to follow.
DISAPPEAR - IF YOU MUST
When the hell of stalking or relationship violence becomes unbearable, you may wish to disappear – vanish without a trace. Modern technology makes it much easier for people to reinvent themselves. There are pay-as-you-go phones and credit cards. You no longer have to go into a bank with an account book to withdraw money.
This can indeed be done but the rules are strict. Disappearing is NOT an easy way out – you must have a complete lifestyle change. The current you will no longer exist – and a new you will be born.
A private investigator can help you cover your tracks – and serve as a liaison with loved ones back at your former home. A victim was able to shake her stalker and move on with her life – with the help of her friends. They took turns staying overnight, driving her to work, helping with daily chores, swapping cellphones and cars, and helping her relocate secretly.
Books on How to Stop a Stalker
• The Gift Of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker.
• I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrists Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love by Doreen Orion, M.D.
• Stopping a Stalker: A Cop’s Guide to Making the System Work by Captain Robert L. Snow.
• Surviving A Stalker: Everything You Need To Know To Keep Yourself Safe by Linden Gross.
Online: see FamilyWatchdog.us for the registered sex offenders in your area. But since rapists average 7 victims before their first arrest – many won’t be shown yet. And remember that sex offenders may be homeless or simply prowl outside their neighborhood, or – as 24 percent do nationwide – simply disappear with false ID.
Now you see why it’s far better to recognize the Stalker Warning Signs to stop a stalker early on – the sooner, the better – and nip it in the bud before it grows out of control and wreaks havoc in your life.
PERSONAL SAFETY DEVICES
Carry Pepper Spray & a Personal Security Alarm (noisemaker or screamer) within easy reach. Those pages tell you how to use them most effectively.
Crime-Safety-Security > Women's Safety Overview > Stop a Stalker
